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Harte, Bret, 1836-1902

"Clarence"


"I said I was a prisoner, gentlemen," he went on bitterly; "but that
ain't all! I asked to see Johnston, told him what I had done, and
demanded to be exchanged for a general officer. He said, 'You be
d----d.' I then sent word to the division commander-in-chief, and told
him how I had saved Gray Oaks when his brigadier ran away, and he said,
'You be d----d.' I've bin 'You be d----d' from the lowest non-com.
to the commander-in-chief, and when I was at last exchanged, I was
exchanged, gentlemen, for two mules and a broken wagon. But I'm here,
gentlemen--as I was thar!"
"Why don't you see the President about it?" asked a bystander, in
affected commiseration.
Mr. Hooker stared contemptuously at the suggestion, and expectorated his
scornful dissent.
"Not much!" he said. "But I'm going to see the man that carries him and
his Cabinet in his breeches-pocket--Senator Boompointer."
"Boompointer's a big man," continued his auditor doubtfully. "Do you
know him?"
"Know him?" Mr. Hooker laughed a bitter, sardonic laugh. "Well,
gentlemen, I ain't the kind o' man to go in for family influence; but,"
he added, with gloomy elevation, "considering he's an intimate relation
of mine, BY MARRIAGE, I should say I did.


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