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Harte, Bret, 1836-1902

"Clarence"


Hooker looked around the room with a certain dark suspiciousness, and
then, in an affected lower voice, which his theatrical experience made
perfectly audible, went on:--
"It ain't much to speak of, and if it wasn't for the principle of the
thing, I wouldn't be talking. A man who's seen Injin fightin' don't go
much on this here West Point fightin' by rule-of-three--but that ain't
here or there! Well, I'd bin out a-scoutin'--just to help the boys
along, and I was sittin' in my wagon about daybreak, when along comes a
brigadier-general, and he looks into the wagon flap. I oughter to tell
you first, gentlemen, that every minit he was expecting an attack--but
he didn't let on a hint of it to me. 'How are you, Jim?' said he. 'How
are you, general?' said I. 'Would you mind lendin' me your coat and
hat?' says he. 'I've got a little game here with our pickets, and I
don't want to be recognized.' 'Anything to oblige, general,' said I, and
with that I strips off my coat and hat, and he peels and puts them on.
'Nearly the same figure, Jim,' he says, lookin' at me, 'suppose you try
on my things and see.' With that he hands me his coat--full uniform,
by G-d!--with the little gold cords and laces and the epaulettes with a
star, and I puts it on--quite innocent-like.


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