EBOOK QUOTES FROM TWAIN ***
Produced by David Widger
QUOTES AND IMAGES FROM MARK TWAIN
QUOTATIONS FROM MARK TWAIN
SOME OF THE EDITOR'S FAVORITES
Aim and object of the law and lawyers
was to defeat justice
All life seems to be sacred except
human life
Always trying to build a house by
beginning at the top
Believed it; because she desired to
believe it
Best intentions and the frailest
resolution
But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody
good
But there are liars everywhere this
year
Cayote is a living, breathing allegory
of Want
Children were clothed in nothing but
sunshine
Contempt of Court on the part of a
horse
Fertile in invention and elastic in
conscience
Fun--but of a mild type
Grief that is too deep to find help in
moan or groan or outcry
Haughty humility
I was not scared, but I was
considerably agitated
I had a delicacy about going home and
getting thrashed
If the man doesn't believe as we do, we
say he is a crank
Imagination to help his memory
Invariably allowed a half for shrinkage
in his statements
It used to be a good hotel, but that
proves nothing
It is easier to stay out than get out
It had cost something to upholster
these women
Keg of these nails--of the true cross
Let me take your grief and help you
carry it
Life a vanity and a burden, and the
future but a way to death
Man is the only animal that blushes--or
needs to
Man was not a liar he only missed it by
the skin of his teeth
Money is most difficult to get when
people need it most
Native canoe is an irresponsible
looking contrivance
No people who are quite so vulgar as
the over-refined ones
No nation occupies a foot of land that
was not stolen
Nothing that glitters is gold
Notion that he is less savage than the
other savages
Nursed his woe and exalted it
Ostentatious of his modesty
Otherwise they would have thought I was
afraid, which I was
People talk so glibly of "feeling,"
"expression," "tone,"
Pity is for the living, Envy is for the
dead
Predominance of the imagination over
the judgment
Profound respect for chastity--in other
people
Prosperity is the best protector of
principle
Received with a large silence that
suggested doubt
Road, which did not seem to know its
own mind exactly
Room to turn around in, but not to
swing a cat
Scenery in California requires distance
Seventy is old enough--after that,
there is too much risk
Sleep that heals all heart-aches and
ends all sorrows
Slept, if one might call such a
condition by so strong a name
Smell about them which is peculiar but
not entertaining
Takes your enemy and your friend,
working together, to hurt you
The man with a new idea is a Crank
until the idea succeeds
To a delicate stomach even imaginary
smoke can convey damage
Tourists showing how things ought to be
managed
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry
and narrow-mindedness
Uncomplaining impoliteness
Very pleasant man if you were not in
his way
Virtuous to the verge of eccentricity
Wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and
now I owe two millions
We ought never to do wrong when people
are looking
We must create, a public opinion, said
Senator Dilworthy
Well provided with cigars and other
necessaries of life
What's a fair wind for us is a head
wind to them
Whichever one they get is the one they
want
Worth while to get tired out, because
one so enjoys resting
Wrinkles should merely indicate where
smiles have been
Your absence when you are present
A FEW SELECTED BOOKS
FOLLOWING THE EQUATOR
Against nature to take an interest in familiar things
Age after age, the barren and meaningless process
All life seems to be sacred except human life
But there are liars everywhere this year
Capacity must be shown (in other work); in the law, concealment of it will do
Christmas brings harassment and dread to many excellent people
Climate which nothing can stand except rocks
Creature which was everything in general and nothing in particular
Custom supersedes all other forms of law
Death in life; death without its privileges
Every one is a moon, and has a dark side
Exercise, for such as like that kind of work
Explain the inexplicable
Faith is believing what you know ain't so
Forbids betting on a sure thing
Forgotten fact is news when it comes again
Get your formalities right--never mind about the moralities
Give thanks that Christmas comes but once a year
Good protections against temptations; but the surest is cowardice
Goody-goody puerilities and dreary moralities
Habit of assimilating incredibilities
Human pride is not worth while
Hunger is the handmaid of genius
If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank
Inherited prejudices in favor of hoary ignorances
It is easier to stay out than get out
Man is the only animal that blushes--or needs to
Meddling philanthropists
Melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy
Moral sense, and there is an Immoral Sense
Most satisfactory pet--never coming when he is called
Natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs
Neglected her habits, and hadn't any
Never could tell a lie that anybody would doubt
No nation occupies a foot of land that was not stolen
No people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined ones
Notion that he is less savage than the other savages
Only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want
Ostentatious of his modesty
Otherwise they would have thought I was afraid, which I was
Pity is for the living, Envy is for the dead
Prosperity is the best protector of principle
Received with a large silence that suggested doubt
Seventy is old enough--after that, there is too much risk
Silent lie and a spoken one
Sinking vessel, with no freight in her to throw over
Takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you
Thankfulness is not so general
The man with a new idea is a Crank until the idea succeeds
This is a poor old ship, and ought to be insured and sunk
To a delicate stomach even imaginary smoke can convey damage
Tourists showing how things ought to be managed
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been
THE INNOCENTS ABROAD
Ancient painters never succeeded in denationalizing themselves
Apocryphal New Testament
Astonishing talent for seeing things that had already passed
Bade our party a kind good-bye, and proceeded to count spoons
Base flattery to call them immoral
Bones of St Denis
But it is an ill-wind that blows nobody good
Buy the man out, goodwill and all
By dividing this statement up among eight
Carry soap with them
Chapel of the Invention of the Cross
Christopher Colombo
Clustered thick with stony, mutilated saints
Commend me to Fennimore Cooper to find beauty in the Indians
Conceived a sort of unwarrantable unfriendliness
Confer the rest of their disastrous patronage on some other firm
Creator made Italy from designs by Michael Angelo!
Cringing spirit of those great men
Diffident young man, mild of moustache, affluent of hair
Expression
Felt that it was not right to steal grapes
Fenimore Cooper Indians
Filed away among the archives of Russia--in the stove
For dismal scenery, I think Palestine must be the prince
Free from self-consciousness--which is at breakfast
Fumigation is cheaper than soap
Fun--but of a mild type
Getting rich very deliberately--very deliberately indeed
Guides
Have a prodigious quantity of mind
He never bored but he struck water
He ought to be dammed--or leveed
Holy Family always lived in grottoes
How tame a sight his country's flag is at home
I am going to try to worry along without it
I carried the sash along with me--I did not need the sash
I had a delicacy about going home and getting thrashed
I was not scared, but I was considerably agitated
Is, ah--is he dead?
It is a hopeless, dreary, heart-broken land
It is inferior--for coffee--but it is pretty fair tea
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing
It was warm.
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