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Bennett, Arnold, 1867-1931

"The Matador of the Five Towns and Other Stories"


Her nearness, closeness, stinginess, close-fistedness--as the quality
was variously called--was excused to her, partly because it had been at
first caused by a genuine need of severe economy (she having been "left
poorly off" by a husband who had lived "in a large way"), partly because
it inconvenienced nobody save perhaps her servant Maria, and partly
because it was so picturesque and afforded much excellent material for
gossip. Mrs Garlick's latest feat of stinginess was invariably a safe
card to play in the conversational game. Each successive feat was
regarded as funnier than the one before it.
Maria, who had a terrific respect for appearances, never disclosed her
mistress's peculiarities. It was Mrs Garlick herself who humorously
ventilated and discussed them; Mrs Garlick, being a philosopher, got
quite as much amusement as anyone out of her most striking quality.
"Is there anything interesting in the _Signal_ to-night?" she had
innocently asked one of her sons.
"No," said Sam Garlick, unthinkingly.
"Well, then," said she, "suppose I turn out the gas and we talk in the
dark?"
Soon afterwards Sam Garlick married; his mother remarked drily that she
was not surprised.


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