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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"The Delectable Duchy"

They gave the alarm. I happened to
be in the street at the time, purchasing muscatels for the Christmas
snap-dragon, and, after rushing up to the Quay to satisfy myself,
proceeded with all haste to Mr. Sullivan, Captain of the Brigade.
I found him at tea, but behaving in a somewhat extraordinary manner.
It is well known that Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan suffer occasionally from
domestic disagreement, due, in great measure, to the lady's temper.
Mr. Sullivan was sitting at the table with a saucer inverted upon his
head, a quantity of tea-leaves matted in his iron-grey hair, and their
juice trickling down his face. On hearing my alarming intelligence, he
said:
"I had meant to sit there for some time; indeed, until my little boy
returns with the Vicar, whom I have sent for to witness the effects of
my wife's temper. I was sitting down to tea when I heard a voice
in the street calling 'Whiting!'--a fish of which I am extremely
fond--and ran out to procure threepenny worth. On my return, my wife
here--I suppose, because she objects to clean the fish--assaulted me
in the manner you behold.


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