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Bueltmann, A. J.

"White Queen of the Cannibals: the Story of Mary Slessor"

God is pushing me onward. I don't dare look backward. Even if my dear
church turns against me and will not have me as its missionary, I must go
forward. I can find food for myself and the children. That is all I
need. God will help me."
Mary thought and prayed much over this matter. She thought of starting a
store or taking a government job so she could earn money to take care of
the missionary work. She wrote a long letter to the Mission Board. She
told how God had blessed the work at Itu and the villages on Enyong
creek. Then she wrote:
In all this how plainly God has been leading me. I did not think of doing
these things in my lifetime, but God has led me on. First Itu, and then the
Creek, then back from Aro, where I had set my heart, to a lonely, spooky,
wilderness. There no one ever went, but now miles of roads are being
built.
The Board says I am to go back to Akpap in April. I love no other place on
earth so well. But I dare not think of leaving the crowds of untamed,
unwashed, unlovely savages, and take away the little sunlight that has
begun to flicker out over its darkness.
I know that I am pretty old for this kind of work. But God will help.
Whether the church permits or not, I feel that I must stay here. I must
even go farther as the roads are made. I cannot walk now and I must be
careful of my health. But I can get four wheels made and set a box on them
and the children can pull me.


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