This yard of lace I'm holding, so to speak,
Is pinned on tight - or will be in a week."
XX
A-lopping on a car-barn bench I spied
Gilly the Grip, quite recent this g. m.,
Just like a lily on a broken stem
Or like a Salt Lake buck without a bride.
"Chirk, Gilly, chirk!" I says in tones of pride,
"Perhaps this unhinged heart is just pro tem.
The world is full of pompadours for them
That keep their search-lights peeled from side to side."
But Gill remarked, "Eh, what? Say, I'm so slow
I couldn't catch the hour-hand on a clock.
I'm simply stationary as they grow;.
A lamp-post race could beat me round the block.
You needn't think you're such an Alfred G.,
To motor by a quarry-cart like me!"
XXI
Next week the wedding-bells won't do a thing,
For I'll be there, I guess, to fill the set,
And Pansy's Ma, she won't be late, you bet,
To see the Reverend Mr. pull the string.
Me for a spike-tailed scabbard and a ring,
A shell-back shirt, forsooth a peacherette.
I'll be the daintiest bridegroom ever yet;
Nothing to do but take the count, then - bing!
Love in a cottage run on union pay -
Can Teddy Roosevelt do a sum like that?
Two can eat cheap as one, perhaps, but say,
You've got to beat a quarter pretty flat
To cork three squares, make Little Two Shoes snug
And keep the Wolf from chewing up the rug.
XXII
Methinks I'm tagged to join the Worry Club,
To chase the fleeting rhino through the gloom,
To bag the boodle, trap the wild mazume
And scratch for corn when Pansy hollers "Grub!"
They say I'll turn as sickly as a chub
When on the First, with dull and deadly boom,
The Rent comes round and walks into the room,
Remarking, "Peel or else file out, you scrub!"
But when your arms are full of girl and fluff
You hide your nerve behind a yard of grin;
You'd spit into a wild cat's face or bluff
A flock of dragons with a safety pin.
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