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Kingsley, Charles, 1819-1875

"Two Years Ago, Volume I"

'
"Ah, but you see,' says the other, 'I steals mine ready made.'
"Moral--If you're going to do a thing, do it outright."
That very evening, Tom came in again.
"Well; I've been to Trebooze."
"And fared, how?"
"Just as I warned you. Inquired into his symptoms; prescribed for his
digestion--if he goes on as he is doing, he will soon have none left
to prescribe for; and, finally, plastered, with a sublime generosity,
the nose which my own knuckles had contused."
"Impossible! you are the most miraculously impudent of men!"
"Pish! simple common sense. I knew that Mrs. Trebooze would suspect
that the world had heard of his mishap, and took care to let her know
that I knew, by coming up to inquire for him."
"_Cui bono?_"
"Power. To have them, or any one, a little more in my power. Next,
I knew that he dared not fly out at me, for fear I should tell Mrs.
Trebooze what he had been after--you see? Ah, it was delicious to have
the great oaf sitting sulking under my fingers, longing to knock my
head off, and I plastering away, with words of deepest astonishment
and condolence. I verily believe that, before we parted, I had
persuaded him that his black eye proceeded entirely from his having
run up against a tree in the dark."
"Well," said Frank, half sadly, though enjoying the joke in spite of
himself, "I cannot help thinking it would have been a fit moment for
giving the poor wretch a more solemn lesson.


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